Transformation... Why Is it so hard to change? I keep experiencing the same issue, again and again...
Transformation... Ah yes, it can seem so difficult or is it? Maybe you are saying I have read this, learned about that, or did differently for awhile, yet, I find myself in the same spot again and again. Keep reading, I hope to have a few answers for you.
Here is the Challenge: In life when you make attempts to transform traits, patterns, and/or relationships it is very common to feel more stress, increase your negative self-talk, and easily fall back into those past familiar patterns, lets talk about Neuroplasticity, here. Also, the brain is wired and trained to behave in certain ways. I teach clients about the cycle of change and how to rewire our brains through practice, different thoughts, and different behaviors as well as seeing the big picture in the small choices.
No matter how many times you have attempted to change your life. Absolutely know there is a way to get there!!! You want to transform, right, you want to create a different result. Then there are some key tools that need to be included in this journey. If you are ready, you are most likely saying “of course”, jumping up and down, lets do this.. Smiles, well a girl could hope, right. Here we go....
The Transformation Tools.. Let's Begin ...
Illumination: You have to illuminate, the patterns, your stuff, what has worked and what hasn't.. Illumination allows you to see your patterns, the roots, and what is keeping you in these patterns so you can transform. To learn more about illumination to change and elevate your life check out our very first post here on this blog. One way that can help you so much is to journal, write about the what keeps you stuck, what is the pattern, what could you try different.. Then, guess what, give it a go...try it. Write about the result and make a determination, if it worked keep it and if not drop it.
Initiate Change: You have to give yourself permission to begin where you are and instead of the dreaming of the quick fix give yourself some time to sort out what is the “root” of the behavior or patterns. This takes time, get a journal, a sacred place to write about you. Additionally, through this initiation phase of change, a guide, teacher, therapist, coach can be so helpful to assist you in your journey to see what you need to see typically in a more quick way. Begin where you are.
Life is Spiral: An invite to you. Life is spiral, it might feel like you are making progress but then you slip back, you might feel like this is a failure, absolutely not. Here is what I want you to know: the true path of real change is spiral and you will continue upwards to transform and elevate your life. .. You are finding your true north.. Trust me this is the journey.
Stress Reduction: Stress reduction is so important especially when you are working to change patterns within you. There are simple ways to decrease stress through working with mind.body connection and nature. Stress reduction is necessary to navigate changes in healthy and effective ways.. Belly Breath can have a profound impact on our stress levels. Walking 45 minutes a day soaks up cortisol (the stress hormone) and being in nature has so many benefits on the mind, body, emotions and your life in general. It gives you big perspectives on the details of life. Get to that belly breathing, okay.
Self-Love: And finally, Yes SELF-LOVE , it is an integral part of transformation. Self-love is not just hot baths, massages, and all the feel goods. It is also understanding you and giving yourself time and patience as you learn new ways to transform. It is learning your voice, boundaries, and practicing self-care. Self-love is creating time, space, and integrating healing practices into your life that impact what I like to call the biopsychoemotionalecological parts of you. Self-love can begin by changing our self-talk and learning to love and accept all parts of you are while on the journey of change.
In this post, I have given you just a few ideas to get you started on your transformation path self-love, illumination, stress reduction. Now go get a journal, write a few minutes a day, and do one action today that will move you in that direction. You have got this......
Blessings, Blue Skies, and Sunshine,
Dr. Melisa is a Ph.D. in Mind Body Medicine with a specialization in integrative psychotherapy. She is the owner of Skyeia Holistic Services and The Willow Tree and Me, an Integrative wellness and private psychotherapy practice located in Maryland.